During Carers Week 2023, *Susan, 81, shares her experience of caring for her husband Tim*, also 81, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer\u2019s in July 2014.<\/p>\n
Although Tim\u2019s physical health is fairly good \u2014 he is completely mobile \u2014 he has little interest in any activities and becomes extremely distressed when Susan is out of his sight even for just a few minutes. As a result, Susan cannot leave him alone for a moment, meaning that the couple have become virtual prisoners in their own home in Hampton. Because Tim does very little at home and is often unoccupied, he simply falls asleep.<\/p>\n
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The couple\u2019s sense of isolation and loneliness is further compounded, as their son lives abroad. Due to logistics, he rarely comes home, while their daughter is busy with her job so can only offer her parents limited support. As a result, Susan\u2019s role as a carer is all-consuming. She has had to give up many of the activities that she once loved including her work with a charitable trust.<\/p>\n
Covid-19 adversely affected Tim. The forced isolation meant that he forgot many of the people that he knew, and Susan was left feeling lonelier than ever. Tim\u2019s condition worsened even more at the beginning of 2022 when his memory and conversation deteriorated severely. Tim needs help with showering now and can no longer dress himself. He was big on DIY, and did everything around the house, but now anything that needs doing is down to Susan who has to organise electricians and plumbers. Having never done this previously, she finds this difficult. But by far the most challenging aspect of caring for Susan is the terrible loss that she feels on a daily basis.<\/p>\n
\u2018The hardest thing about caring is that you have lost the person you love,\u2019 says Susan. \u2018You are grieving for them even though they\u2019re still there right beside you. Tim is no longer the man I married; I can\u2019t have a conversation with him, and I can\u2019t leave him alone.\u2019<\/p>\n
Susan and Tim started attending the Carers\u2019 Caf\u00e9 approximately one year ago, just as Tim\u2019s condition grew much worse. It gives her something to look forward to each week and alleviates her loneliness.<\/p>\n
\u2018You can\u2019t really talk to your friends about what it\u2019s like to care for someone with Alzheimer\u2019s because they just don\u2019t know how it feels,\u2019 says Susan. \u2018That\u2019s why the caf\u00e9 is so good. It\u2019s such a supportive environment. People there understand just what you\u2019re going through, and we all share information and advice. The staff and the volunteers there are so lovely, so too everyone who attends.\u00a0I\u2019m so thankful to have found the cafe where I can let off steam and just be honest.<\/p>\n
\u2018I always look forward to going there \u2014 there\u2019s so little on offer for people with dementia but knowing that we have somewhere to go each week is a real beacon of light for me. The caf\u00e9 really buoys me up.\u2019<\/p>\n
Recently, Susan suffered a bad fall which resulted in her breaking two ribs, bruising her hip badly and smashing the back of her head. She remains in pain and says, \u2018It\u2019s even more difficult to care for someone when you\u2019re in pain, but you just have to carry on.\u2019<\/p>\n
Susan finds that the Well-being Programme at Crossroads Care and the Caf\u00e9 helps to ease her pain. She enjoys the gentle chair yoga at the Carers Caf\u00e9, led by Crossroads Care holistic therapist, Jess West.<\/p>\n
\u2018It\u2019s fun and very relaxing,\u2019 says Susan. \u2018It\u2019s just something different to take your mind off things.\u2019<\/p>\n
Susan has also had a massage at the Crossroads Care Therapy Rooms which she describes as \u2018bliss\u2019 and has enjoyed two reiki sessions which she says has eased the pain of her broken ribs.<\/p>\n
\u2018I so appreciate everything that Crossroads does for us,\u2019 says Susan. \u2018Because of them, I no longer feel alone.\u2019<\/p>\n
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During Carers Week 2023, *Susan, 81, shares her experience of caring for her husband Tim*, also 81, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer\u2019s in July 2014. Although Tim\u2019s physical health is fairly good \u2014 he is completely mobile \u2014 he has little interest in any activities and becomes extremely distressed when Susan is out of his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88901,"featured_media":1089321,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-our-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88901"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5116"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5116\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1089322,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5116\/revisions\/1089322"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1089321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}