{"id":4903,"date":"2022-05-11T14:01:11","date_gmt":"2022-05-11T14:01:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crossroadscarerk.org\/?p=4903"},"modified":"2023-02-02T09:36:02","modified_gmt":"2023-02-02T09:36:02","slug":"theres-no-one-else-to-turn-to-but-crossroads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/theres-no-one-else-to-turn-to-but-crossroads\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018There\u2019s no one else to turn to but Crossroads\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gemma* who cares for her 95-year-old Mum, living with Vascular Dementia, talks here about how our Caring Caf\u00e9 lifts both of their spirits\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Before Crossroads Care came into our lives, I felt so alone with all of this. Mum had me when she was 45, so all my peers have younger parents who aren\u2019t at the stage that Mum is. Thanks to Crossroads though, there are people that I can go to and ask questions, and they make me realise that I\u2019m not going down the wrong route with my mum.<\/p>\n

\"\"\u2018Caring for my mum has permeated every aspect of my life. I was never a drinker, but I don\u2019t really go out and have a glass of wine with friends anymore because I might get a call from the Carer which means I have to traipse across London to get to Mum.<\/p>\n

\u2018The most difficult aspect of caring is the lack of sleep. At one point, back in 2018, I spent a month waking up with mum every hour because she just wouldn\u2019t go to sleep.<\/p>\n

\u2018The thing is, you have to remain calm when dealing with Mum. If she\u2019s accusing you of things that are just not true, you have to keep a level head because she\u2019s so emotionally attuned. That\u2019s really hard when I haven\u2019t slept. I end up in pieces, but I can cope with anything after a good night\u2019s sleep.<\/p>\n

\u2018Being a Carer means you stop seeing yourself as a separate person to the person you are caring for because everything you do has to work around them. I always talk about \u201cwe\u201d; we\u2019re completely intertwined. It\u2019s ingrained in everything I do to think about Mum first and how things will affect her.<\/p>\n

\u2018Mum just needs to have one activity per day to stimulate her which in turn helps me. It alters her mood and changes the dynamic between us.<\/p>\n

\u2018The Crossroads Caring Caf\u00e9 is a huge hit with Mum. She especially loves the music. In fact, we call it the Singing Caf\u00e9 rather than the Caring Caf\u00e9! One volunteer told Mum to practise her scales, and that got Mum singing for ages back at home. She loves the social aspect of the caf\u00e9 too, so we go whenever it\u2019s on.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u2018The caf\u00e9 gives you the chance to look at the landscape ahead rather than someone only opening the door when you are standing at the cliff edge. It\u2019s also the only place where I feel that whatever happens, my mum will be treated in a way that is suited to her personally.<\/p>\n

\u2018The support group at the Caring Caf\u00e9 has really helped me. It’s a safe space where no one judges anyone else. And now, being at a later stage of caring, I feel like I have got something to contribute to people there.<\/p>\n

\u2018Crossroads Care and the dementia nurse have helped me to shift my mindset about dementia. A question the nurse asked me has stuck in my head \u2013 \u201cIf your mum doesn\u2019t want to do it, does it matter?\u201d It\u2019s normal to get ready for bed, for example, but it really doesn\u2019t matter if you want to sleep in your clothes. Going to the Caring Caf\u00e9 has helped to solidify this mindset.<\/p>\n

\u2018Caring is a lonely situation made worse by the way the system has gone \u2013 so much is online and distant. You feel like organisations just say \u201cok, we\u2019ve done our bit, bye bye,\u201d so there\u2019s no one else to turn to but Crossroads. Through Crossroads, I have got ideas on things to try with Mum and there\u2019s always people to listen.<\/p>\n

\u2018There isn\u2019t anyone else like Crossroads. They\u2019ve been there through it all. The level of support they offer feels absent everywhere else.\u2019<\/p>\n

*Name changed to protect identities.<\/p>\n

Click here<\/a> to find out more about the Caring Caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gemma* who cares for her 95-year-old Mum, living with Vascular Dementia, talks here about how our Caring Caf\u00e9 lifts both of their spirits\u2026 \u2018Before Crossroads Care came into our lives, I felt so alone with all of this. Mum had me when she was 45, so all my peers have younger parents who aren\u2019t at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88901,"featured_media":5423,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-our-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88901"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4903"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4903\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crossroadscarerk.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}